Every Step of the Way, Every Day

On July 30, I scrawled "Be proud of yourself when you reach a goal, yes, but be proud of yourself every step of the way" on the dry erase board in my English remediation class for students planning to retake their English exam.

I think if I could add to that quote--beautiful as it is, I would say "Respect that everyone's starting point and goals may not look exactly like yours, or even anything like yours."

I have taught kids of various talents, diverse needs, seemingly insurmountable challenges. I've cried with them when they've hit personal valleys outside of education. I've prayed for answers when a brain cancer prevented new information from being recalled in one of my teenagers. I've encouraged, stopped to rethink a new way to teach the same concept 100 times plus one more time, sought help from my colleagues. All the things we educators do. I've even been frustrated, felt "done" with hard, problematic children whose upbringing I questioned and then abandoned those questions because they were outside of my control and counterproductive toward my goal of teaching. 

All children are deserving of love. All. No exceptions, no but "what if," ALL.

And the same way, all BODIES are deserving of love. ALL. I will say it again for those in the back.

All bodies deserve love and respect. 

I am a busy little bee on social media, and I have been since BEFORE Zuckerburg's creation. Anyone remember Deadjournal? LiveJournal? I had one of each, which I've since deleted much to my disappointment and simultaneous relief. A few months back, I posted a quote that spoke to me. It was a virtual hug to all bigger folks with some extra pounds that essentially said, "I have experienced discrimination that is built into society at a sub-conscious level. It sucks. I hear you. Love yourself anyway."

I glowed after posting it. Confronting the demon is part of the healing process. But a friend quickly shot it down as "bullshitty" then shared her personal story and goals. I responded, multiple times, stunned, and quite a bit angry at her for pooping on validation and community that I had so foolishly thought one little soundbyte post would bring about.

I stand by my original support of the quote, whatever it may have been, but I also see her perspective more clearly. I think it's easy to get bogged down in reasons or other people's garb, be it their ideas, their mantras, their ways of life. And it may not be right for you, but it isn't wrong for someone else.

That's how body positivity works. We are on a path called life, constantly changing, evolving, making decisions that add up one way or another. Regardless of how that life is lived, we exit the same way.

At the time of my post, I was still coming to grips with being diagnosed with a chronic health condition unrelated to my weight that had been contributing to my energy levels being depleted every day upon waking. If there were an energy upon waking gage, with 100 being recharged, refreshed, and ready to tackle another day, I was waking up at a -10 and had been since my teens at least. Constantly fatigued, going through my days with the same demands as others in my field and now, as a mother. To put this in scientific, objective findings: at night, I stop breathing 29 times an hour and my oxygen dips to 71 because of it. Poor sleep adds to weight gain. And I haven't been sleeping well for decades.

I speak up to encourage others with chronic conditions, others who might believe that they have a body wrong because they don't look or feel a certain way.

Every day is a new step to the story that is you. If someone doesn't like that story, who are they to dismiss you as not a Classic? Who are they? Even your Creator calls you fearfully and wonderfully made. No exceptions.

The day I made my post and my friend had a disagreement, I truly believe we were talking about apples and oranges. I was discussing the body from mentality standpoints, whereas she had tackled some major obstacles with mentality and was coming from the perspective of physical health. 

A better way of stating this is through Steven Curtis Chapman's "Fingerprints of God," that he wrote to his teenage daughter struggling with body image. He calls his daughter a masterpiece that creation quietly applauds. Just in having a body, there is beauty-- but she was upset over her value, equating value with a certain standard of beauty. She did not see herself as beautiful and therefore placed lesser value in herself. Body positivity seeks to right that wrong.

I have a part two in mind regarding physical health, but I wanted to hit mental health first.

Cheers to you and your beautiful self.