I'm reminded of the saying that, "It isn't one decision that makes the difference, but a series of small decisions paired together in succession that makes an impact." And boy, do they. That advice works absolutely both ways. Since September, I have
- Stopped working out
- Let people's opinion of my lunch tuna on salad shake me up and derail my better food choices
- Sought to self sooth with buckets of sugary candy
- Replaced my blood type with coffee
- Jittered all over the place
- Stressed
- Been in pain
- Let my core go to crap
- Lost focus
So, here I am, not berating myself, but reminding myself why I started.
I started for more energy to devote to those I love the most. I don't live to work. Work is a means of supplying my family with their necessary needs so that we can have a comfortable home, a variety of colorful, nutritious foods on the table, clothes to wear, and quality time together. Instead, I let stress and the voices of sabotage get to me. Sabotage doesn't always sound like temptation. It can also be the persistent and true voice that states, "You work hard. You pour yourself into your career so you deserve to (indulge/kick your feet up/any number of things that are overall not beneficial)." And as defensive as I am of the devotion I have to both my family and my job, anything that steals health away from me is an excuse. Even if it's the idea that I need chocolate/wine/thirty minutes more of sleep to stay sane, those things are not replacements for my time on Earth. They are excuses.
My two loves deserve better. And I will give the best of me. Starting with exercise daily and adopting kinder eating habits.
I started my day exercising with my son, and the pain was temporary. The energy, clarity of mind, better mood, and endorphins replaced any negativity.
Ever fail? Try again. Fail again? Restart. Never ever give up.
