Sunday, March 27, 2016
Saturday, March 19, 2016
Yes, Virginia, there IS a Savings Account!
As with most aspects of life, a change can bring new expenses and require some shuffling. After being overdrawn from our main bank account a few times this new year and borrowing from savings in a never-ending slow spiral, we have recrunched our numbers and seen that one area that could stand to benefit from close planning is our grocery budget.
I went on a mission. Not only is my plan to feed us on about $300 less per month (down from an estimated $750 to $450). but that reduction also includes toiletries, cleaning supplies, and paper products. Game. Set. Match.
There are people more brilliant than I am, and with their insights, forged together, we are the ULTRAZORD. Go, go Savings Rangers! I'd like to share my progress, some tips, and what this looks like when broken down in terms of time and location, which I hope are practical and attainable for most people.
Round one began last week when Nick was out of town. The way I figured my goal total was this: if I'm allocating 90 dollars a week at 4 weeks per month, and half of the adults are absent from the house, I should be able to subsist on 45 dollars or less on that given week.
2. When you purchase items, are there certain items that you will not deviate from brand, or are you interested in the best deal for the dollar a.k.a. the cheapest?
I went on a mission. Not only is my plan to feed us on about $300 less per month (down from an estimated $750 to $450). but that reduction also includes toiletries, cleaning supplies, and paper products. Game. Set. Match.
There are people more brilliant than I am, and with their insights, forged together, we are the ULTRAZORD. Go, go Savings Rangers! I'd like to share my progress, some tips, and what this looks like when broken down in terms of time and location, which I hope are practical and attainable for most people.
Round one began last week when Nick was out of town. The way I figured my goal total was this: if I'm allocating 90 dollars a week at 4 weeks per month, and half of the adults are absent from the house, I should be able to subsist on 45 dollars or less on that given week.
Now, I'm no Spring chicken and I'm decent at math, 90*4 is 360, well under 450, but we get diaper bundles delivered to us for 86 and change, so I subtracted that number from my original estimate. Yes, we could further save by cloth diapering, but since I'm a working mom and daycare requires disposables, that's an argument for when I strike it rich and no longer have to work to make ends meet. Pick your battles.
Was I successful in my first run? Yes. Was I successful in my second run for a "new normal" week? To the tune of 80.85. How did I do it and manage to have money AND food leftover? Here's where I'll break it down, and afterward, I'll throw in tips that are sound that may help others.
I firmly believe in learning from others, but also in finding what works for you and your family. Here is a copy of the initial questionnaire I sent to willing participants. Participants' (families of two adults and two+ children) ideas in red; our family in dark gray (two adults and an 11 month old who eats solids).
1. Do you have a set weekly menu, that is, do you have certain foods on certain nights each week?
Consensus among other families was no, they did not have a set menu.
However, I am of two minds about this when meal planning. First, HAVE a plan. If you do not have a plan when shopping, you will overbuy and overspend. Initially, we are starting off with "nights" to keep us on the right track. I'm thinking of these as "financial training wheels," and in the meanwhile, I can observe trends and what is seasonal in terms of fruit, veg, and meatstuffs. Here is a sample of our "training wheels":
I firmly believe in learning from others, but also in finding what works for you and your family. Here is a copy of the initial questionnaire I sent to willing participants. Participants' (families of two adults and two+ children) ideas in red; our family in dark gray (two adults and an 11 month old who eats solids).
1. Do you have a set weekly menu, that is, do you have certain foods on certain nights each week?
Consensus among other families was no, they did not have a set menu.
However, I am of two minds about this when meal planning. First, HAVE a plan. If you do not have a plan when shopping, you will overbuy and overspend. Initially, we are starting off with "nights" to keep us on the right track. I'm thinking of these as "financial training wheels," and in the meanwhile, I can observe trends and what is seasonal in terms of fruit, veg, and meatstuffs. Here is a sample of our "training wheels":
Although this is a listing of dinner options, we are purchasing breakfast and lunch items, too. They are rather non-luxurious, but they get the job done. They follow the protocol of eat to live, rather than live to eat.
Breakfast is generally eggs and a grain, cereal, or oatmeal. I have an expensive coffee habit I'm fighting, but lately, I have been working hard to drink green tea instead since it does a lesser number on my blood sugar. Lunch involves sandwiches, salads, and leftovers from the night before.
One more word on changing menus: I had a surreal moment with hamburger. Ground beef (75, 25?) was on sale for 1.99 a pound for a 3lb roll. Add to that (or subtract! a 1.50 off coupon I'd acquired through the mail), and 3 pounds of beef ended up costing us $4 and change. This is where NOT having a set menu becomes handy. Search for what's on offer, and the best deal and make it work for you.
They always buy the cheapest, or in the words of my savvy friend Tara B. "I am interested in the best deal for my dollar with few exceptions." Then, she explained a name brand item that they purchase monthly when it goes on sale (Velveeta). Not purchasing brand names does not hinder variety, though, as Chandra points out. One child prefers one type of apple to another, and they still manage well.
We are a Kroger family. I advise you find the store with the best price per product in your area and go that route. It also doesn't hurt if they have a loyalty card, digital store coupons that you can download onto your card, and mail you additional coupons for items you frequently purchase. There is a buyer-beware here, though:
A.) Coupons do NOT guarantee you're purchasing the cheapest item. What I did my past two trips is bring/download the coupon then price compare between items. I LOOK at ounces in jars of mayo for instance. The obvious idea here is that brand names are generally more expensive, but not always. Store brand is not always the best deal if you have a coupon, but sometimes it can be. I eyeball it.
I AM brand loyal to dishwashing detergent (Cascade), sink soap (Dawn), and clothing detergent (All Free & Clear). I have found that the alternatives are thin, run out faster, and just aren't worth the extra dollar we save by choosing store brand.
I am not a multi-store mama. I know who you weirdos are; where do you find the time? But, during week one, I checked mail, and holy frijoles, Aldi had eggs on offer at 1.19 a dozen and milk for 1.29. You bet your behind I jumped on that. The eggs, at least. We didn't require milk that week. Aldi is right down the street from Kroger, so it was worthwhile to pick those items up. Had it not been convenient, it's not worth wasting gas money on.
B.) I have shopped for the same items at other stores. I won't badmouth any particular one, and Kroger isn't paying me money to say this--hey, Kroger, it's never too late, though!--but purchasing the same items at a different store cost us an additional $50-$100. Granted, there is a slight quality difference, but not to the tune of an extra hundred smackers. That's your call.
3. What kind of snack items does your family purchase/consume? What percentage of your grocery bill is devoted to snacks?
Family 1 said they spend about 1/4 of the bill on snack options but opt for healthier options when chips are in question.
Family 2 said they spend about 8% of their total bill on snacks. This family opts for homemade snacks; the kids and mom make brownies and cookies (from scratch, I think!) rather than buy prepackaged. This family mentioned buying snack sandwich crackers from SAMs, but I know bulk stores are often an obstacle for families to pay a membership fee. The best takeaway from Fam 2 was to wash fruit and veg in a half-water/half-vinegar solution to extend shelf-life.
Family 3 ($10/week) sticks to fresh or dried fruit for snacks, enjoys yogurt (they buy plain in the large containers and portion divide them up), and bargain buys healthy snack puffs from Trader Joe's. I love the idea of yogurt; not only does the container idea make sense mathematically, it produces less waste. As mix-ins for the plain jane yogurt, the mom of this group recommended taking fruit that was about to go bad, and break it down in a sauce pan. It prevents total loss on the foods we have intentions of eating but never get to because life gets in the way.
In the mom's words: "For a cup of berries I put about a 1/4 cup of water with the berries and put the the pan on medium heat, add a small amount of sugar about a table spoon at most and let it reduce break down and thicken while stirring occasionally."
For leftover remnants of veggies and meats, soup stocks and quiche were mentioned. I do love a good quiche.
I have little else to add to this section. I'm curious to break down how much we spend on snacks ourselves; this week, I bought almonds, yogurt, a bag of apples in the RFQS (reduced for quick sale) basket. Taking a cue from Fam 3, I sliced up the apples the day I bought them and made an apple compote for yogurt this week, and with a cup leftover, I made apple rum muffins as a fun treat for the adults in the house.
4. What is your policy on buying items if they're not on the grocery list?
Fam 1: No list. Stay frugal and stick to budget, though.
Fam 2: "When sticking to a strict budget, I check my cabinets and use those items to make my menu list so I am not buying more groceries than I need. I stick to the list, unless it's an item I failed to write down that I need to make my meals."
Fam 3: No list. Look for discounted bakery, deli, meats, produce, and cheese in the morning. Use, prepare, and/or freeze the discounted foods that day for future use. Meat on the bone is helpful because the bones can be cooked down for broths.
This one is tricky for me. I will sometimes see a value item I know we need but I didn't put on my list, or I forget something. One of my goals is to get better at not impulse buying. That said, I could have purchased one box of cornbread for .99 or a six pack for 2.88 this weekend. The purchase choice was clear, but I did have the extra dollar to put toward that adventure.
5. On a scale of 1 to 10 one being not and 10 being very, how satisfied are you with your weekly purchases in terms of nutrition and variety?
Family 1: 7-8 due to a challenge child; recommends food co-op Bountiful Baskets for produce, something I might look into in the future as it seems reasonable and it would encourage us to have more veg in our lives.
Family 2: " Probably an 8. We get a good variety by cooking meat in different ways (grilled, baked or fried) with different veggies or sides. If we cook something not as healthy, we will eat a smaller portion with fruit or a green vegetable on the side."
Family 3: 10.
***
DIET CONSIDERATIONS: There is so much material to cover when it comes to shopping, and I know that dietary restrictions are often an obstacle for many people. A few of the families I spoke with mentioned Paleo recipes and blogs by name (Rachel Maser and Diane Sanfillipo).
Cauliflower is where it is at when rice isn't. To date, the cost is double for the vegetable, but it's still a reasonable sub to make.
BREASTFEEDING V. FORMULA: Breastfeeding is free. I have been fortunate as a working mom to have made it to about a year breastfeeding, and we're still going strong. I have no idea when we'll end, but I have been blessed to be in good enough health to make it this far. The cost benefit has been huge.
I am of the personal belief that an individual mom's milk is for her own offspring; however, many babies have thrived in the absence of their own mom or mother's milk due to the kindness of strangers. If you are interested in milk sharing, or finding healthy breastmilk for your baby, look into Human Milk 4 Human Babies. This particular link is for the Texas Facebook group, but there is a main site, and several state variations.
If for whatever reason, you are a mom of an infant/toddler and cannot breastfeed, you do not have to pay full price for formula. One option is to check with a local area church for donations. I have taken our unused cartons of formula to local churches for families in need because formula has expiration dates. You can also check to see if your community has a Facebook page. I frequently see Similac and Enfamil on our community page for free or cheap. Alternately, you can ask your doctor for a prescription for formula. That stuff is pricey, and whatever help you can get is worthwhile.
***
Good luck and happy saving!
Family 1 said they spend about 1/4 of the bill on snack options but opt for healthier options when chips are in question.
Family 2 said they spend about 8% of their total bill on snacks. This family opts for homemade snacks; the kids and mom make brownies and cookies (from scratch, I think!) rather than buy prepackaged. This family mentioned buying snack sandwich crackers from SAMs, but I know bulk stores are often an obstacle for families to pay a membership fee. The best takeaway from Fam 2 was to wash fruit and veg in a half-water/half-vinegar solution to extend shelf-life.
Family 3 ($10/week) sticks to fresh or dried fruit for snacks, enjoys yogurt (they buy plain in the large containers and portion divide them up), and bargain buys healthy snack puffs from Trader Joe's. I love the idea of yogurt; not only does the container idea make sense mathematically, it produces less waste. As mix-ins for the plain jane yogurt, the mom of this group recommended taking fruit that was about to go bad, and break it down in a sauce pan. It prevents total loss on the foods we have intentions of eating but never get to because life gets in the way.
In the mom's words: "For a cup of berries I put about a 1/4 cup of water with the berries and put the the pan on medium heat, add a small amount of sugar about a table spoon at most and let it reduce break down and thicken while stirring occasionally."
For leftover remnants of veggies and meats, soup stocks and quiche were mentioned. I do love a good quiche.
I have little else to add to this section. I'm curious to break down how much we spend on snacks ourselves; this week, I bought almonds, yogurt, a bag of apples in the RFQS (reduced for quick sale) basket. Taking a cue from Fam 3, I sliced up the apples the day I bought them and made an apple compote for yogurt this week, and with a cup leftover, I made apple rum muffins as a fun treat for the adults in the house.
4. What is your policy on buying items if they're not on the grocery list?
Fam 1: No list. Stay frugal and stick to budget, though.
Fam 2: "When sticking to a strict budget, I check my cabinets and use those items to make my menu list so I am not buying more groceries than I need. I stick to the list, unless it's an item I failed to write down that I need to make my meals."
Fam 3: No list. Look for discounted bakery, deli, meats, produce, and cheese in the morning. Use, prepare, and/or freeze the discounted foods that day for future use. Meat on the bone is helpful because the bones can be cooked down for broths.
This one is tricky for me. I will sometimes see a value item I know we need but I didn't put on my list, or I forget something. One of my goals is to get better at not impulse buying. That said, I could have purchased one box of cornbread for .99 or a six pack for 2.88 this weekend. The purchase choice was clear, but I did have the extra dollar to put toward that adventure.
5. On a scale of 1 to 10 one being not and 10 being very, how satisfied are you with your weekly purchases in terms of nutrition and variety?
Family 1: 7-8 due to a challenge child; recommends food co-op Bountiful Baskets for produce, something I might look into in the future as it seems reasonable and it would encourage us to have more veg in our lives.
Family 2: " Probably an 8. We get a good variety by cooking meat in different ways (grilled, baked or fried) with different veggies or sides. If we cook something not as healthy, we will eat a smaller portion with fruit or a green vegetable on the side."
Family 3: 10.
***
DIET CONSIDERATIONS: There is so much material to cover when it comes to shopping, and I know that dietary restrictions are often an obstacle for many people. A few of the families I spoke with mentioned Paleo recipes and blogs by name (Rachel Maser and Diane Sanfillipo).
Cauliflower is where it is at when rice isn't. To date, the cost is double for the vegetable, but it's still a reasonable sub to make.
BREASTFEEDING V. FORMULA: Breastfeeding is free. I have been fortunate as a working mom to have made it to about a year breastfeeding, and we're still going strong. I have no idea when we'll end, but I have been blessed to be in good enough health to make it this far. The cost benefit has been huge.
I am of the personal belief that an individual mom's milk is for her own offspring; however, many babies have thrived in the absence of their own mom or mother's milk due to the kindness of strangers. If you are interested in milk sharing, or finding healthy breastmilk for your baby, look into Human Milk 4 Human Babies. This particular link is for the Texas Facebook group, but there is a main site, and several state variations.
If for whatever reason, you are a mom of an infant/toddler and cannot breastfeed, you do not have to pay full price for formula. One option is to check with a local area church for donations. I have taken our unused cartons of formula to local churches for families in need because formula has expiration dates. You can also check to see if your community has a Facebook page. I frequently see Similac and Enfamil on our community page for free or cheap. Alternately, you can ask your doctor for a prescription for formula. That stuff is pricey, and whatever help you can get is worthwhile.
***
Good luck and happy saving!
Tuesday, March 15, 2016
The Truth About My Pregnancy
To better appreciate where I am, I need to dredge up where I've been. I have neglected it long enough. It's go time.
Yet, before Jacob, there was a struggle--a big mess of nine+ months, some of which I am still trying to cope with.
We had entered into the "trying phase" of the "maybe we should see if we can make a baby" process--which follows the discussion phase and the "but we live in 600 square feet of a townhouse and can only scratch our behinds if we open a window, a baby can't possibly live here WITH us, nice try" phase. Contrary to popular belief, no talent is actually required to make a baby. This is not intended to sound jerkish to people with fertility struggles. That is a separate issue altogether, and come on, you should know me better.
Seriously, though. There are no guaranteed dress rehearsals. Don't joke around and think, "Oh, we'll just practice," because nature will laugh and laugh and laugh and make you vomit seven times in transit from your Massachusetts vacation back to your 600 square foot hovel, including once while cruising altitude of 30ish thousand feet with a sympathetic flight attendant gently knocking on the door asking if you're okay as you attempt to scrub pink puke out of your jeans because damn, these restrooms are tiny, and you missed the upchuck bag.
We'd had a wild Brazilian steakhouse evening the night before our flight, so the notion that a little person-to-be was multiplying on a cellular level at rapid pace wasn't on our radar (it's less terrifying when you look at the cute face) look at it. LOOK AT IT.
My relationship with squishy has evolved over time. It had to. After all, while baking, he destroyed all the things I loved the most seemingly all at once, and in no particular order: physical intimacy,
sleep, food, eating food without it leaving me, driving to work without having to stop every fifteen minutes to slap myself awake. In addition, I was labeled "high risk," by my OBGYN, which--if you have never tried having a high risk pregnancy, just go ahead and pass. Contrary to what some of my former students will tell you, my age did not put me in this category (really, Anna? 40? #neverforget). I have high blood pressure; I was diagnosed at 19 with chronic hypertension, which means I had it as a kid, and no one bothered to advise me on it. Thanks, Western medicine. Thanks.
Before all the sickness and the scary parts that go along with being high risk, though, we were genuinely happy about our budding little blastocyte and how to nurture him optimally from womb phase to womb phase each month. And before the countdown officially even began, we had a date planned to tell my parents: August 24, 2014, the day before inservice started for the new school year. We were full of excitement, hope, and life.
***
On August 24, I received a phone call from my father, vague, informing me that there was a bad situation with my stepsister Veronica, who was due with her little girl in October.
Without launching too deeply into the details that still make me shake with rage, Veronica, who had a high risk pregnancy due to where the placenta attached, had begun hemorraging in her bathtub the previous evening. Her caretakers did not act in time, leading to her death at age 32 and a premature baby. I did not attend her funeral because I was a coward who could not look death in the face. I was a coward who, newly pregnant, was sick, scared, and selfish at a time when I should have shown up. Instead, I hid and cried.
When there's a baby on the way, how many people dwell on their own fragile mortality? No one wants to think of it. What a sight we must have been to the Labor and Delivery nurses the day Veronica died: tear stained, sobbing strangers searching for the body that bled out amid pink and blue congratulations! Balloons on what is only imagined as such a joyous occasion. People die. Mommies die before they can hold their babies. Babies often die before their mommies can hold them to their hearts and whisper hello.
I wanted to burn the world down.
Who keeps a dead body in a maternity ward?
***
I thought of her often. I think of her, still, but during my second and third trimesters, I was pulling my car over twice a week, crying in fear and anger, thinking about Veronica. Scared for my life, scared for my baby. What guarantees are there in this life?
On Monday, April 6, 2015, Nick and I drove to the hospital for a scheduled induction. We had been to the L&D ward twice before with scares of preeclampsia, once in February and again at the end of March. The second time, I was placed on bedrest. I waited it out until The big induction day.
Doctors don't typically induce babies at 37 weeks. Most doctors are content to let first time mothers cook those babies until they're ready to graduate high school, but even then, I had blocked out how serious my condition was to have gotten such expedited "service." If I had been truthful, the minute the nurse mentioned the head size, I would have given up trying to manage that melon through my ladybits, lifted a finger politely and said, check-please. It had been 24 hours.
Even after all the emotional jarring I had experienced, I was not ready to relinquish the one experience that many women equate with The Ulimate Woman badge: squeezing a baby through my hoo-ha.
I cried, selfishly, as they rolled me into surgery, and then put on my brave game face as the plan changed. And then, hot mess that I was, (well, shivering swollen pale mess), my body delivered a human being into this world. And he was so strange looking, and tiny but huge. And my husband cried and kissed me. And I sang Dethklok's "Sewn Back Together Wrong" in my head to pass the time while my OB tied my layers back together. (Correctly, FYI).
We were in the hospital until Saturday. My blood pressure refused to come down.
Wednesday night around 2am, I slipped out of bed and limped bravely to the bathroom without assistance, but when my feet touched the cool tile, I began to uncontrollably shake and could not regulate my body temperature. Frightened, I screamed for Nick and he rescued me, calling for nurses and socks, and heating pads. In what felt like my most helpless moment, what felt like my body saying, "No more, Holmes. We're done here," another person was strong for me.
That night, I cried in shame but also gratitude.
***
When I was discharged, baby in arms, I had two goals: heal and keep this tiny human alive. I put an inordinate amount of strain on myself to do this. I tried so hard to share the load with others, but I felt I had to do most of it. After all, I knew that eventually the others would be gone, and our little family would just be the three of us.
It got better, but tiny human cried. A lot. Tiny human was colicky because the nursery gave him formula and his digestive flora was not having it. This issue resolved itself immediately once I went to EBF (exclusive breastfeeding).
Each day, the three of us figure it out. He's beautiful, wants to do everything on his own like his mama, is hilarious and kind hearted like his daddy, and attacks the world with a gleeful yawp.
The truth about my pregnancy is that I was reborn. The old is still with me, but the new keeps me going.
And to Veronica, I wish you were here to razz me lovingly about how weird I am.
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